There's A Reason I Was A PRINT Journalist

I'm often told my voice makes me ideal
To sit behind a mike at NPR.
I will admit the notion has appeal,
But listening to me would be bizarre.
I am a giggler, a bit juvenile;
I am a gloater, and can never hide
My glee at things that bring on a sick smile.
Too often would these tendencies collide
With my responsibility to air
The news - as I can write up very well.
On paper no one sees it when I swear
Or laugh out loud at what I have to tell.
Just take, for instance, the word "stimulus":
I'd waste a lot of tape; I'd laugh, then cuss.