BONUS SONNET: A Friend I Wish I Did Not Have

I have a friend who only comes at night

(And not that kind of "comes," O dirty minds),

Informally; I never need invite

Her in. She's clever, and she always finds

A way around my booby traps and snares,

And takes her tiresome seat beside my bed,

Says "You're awake! Oh good!" and calmly stares

And waits for me to pay her mind instead

Of sleeping tight. She thinks it's much more fun

Regaling me with past misdeeds and gaffes,

Or taunting me with things I've not yet done

And prob'ly never will, and cruelly laughs.

"INSOMNIA, bitch goddess, get thee gone!"

I cry. Then morning NPR comes on.