Sonnet Recipe: @drblow's Awesome Bean Dip

First open up a can of refried beans
(The vegetarian ones are the best),
A jar of salsa -- you know what this means! --
We're making the best bean dip in the West
(Or East). Shred up some lovely pepper jack --
This dip is hardly dip without the cheese! --
And if you find this combination lacks
A kick, a can of jalepenos, please!
Mix all this up and heat it on the stove
Until the cheese melts well and doth combine
With all the rest, till it's a treasure trove
Of smooth and awesome flavor, truly fine!
It's great with chips and also over rice,
And you might find some other pairings nice.

Sonnet Recipe: Middle Eastern Chicken

Brown up a pound of chicken, cut up small,

Then add a tablespoon of chicken stock,

A can of diced tomatoes and, in all

Two cups of frozen pepper mix and rock

That in the skillet till it boils and cook

About two minutes. Then add half a cup

Of raisins and a cup more stock and -- look

Ya gotta have some garlic!* -- then mix up

Some thyme, allspice, cloves and a bay leaf, too;

Black pepper and some cumin. Stir that in

And simmer for just 20 minutes. You

Will dig what then results. Now, I have been

A-draining off some liquid from what's done

To cook the couscous in, but that's me, hon.

Spice amounts:

GARLIC: 2 cloves, minced

THYME (dried): 1 1/2 t

CUMIN: 1 t

ALLSPICE: 1/4 t

CLOVES (ground): 1/8 t

BLACK PEPPER: 1/8 t

Sonnet Recipe: Roasted Garlic Hummus

Roast up some garlic (to do that, just wrap

Some tinfoil round a bulb off which you've cut

The top; drizzle some olive oil and tap

The powers of your oven - easy, but

It takes an hour at 300F). While

That's going, grab your food processor and,

Dump in a can of chickpeas with a smile,

Add 1/2 T of lemon juice (how grand!)

And 1/2 t oregano. Now take

That yummy roasted garlic; dump it in

And grind and mix it well until you make

A lovely paste (you might need more oil, then,

But be judicious). There: voila! Chow down

With pita, veggies, crackers -- go to town!

NOTE FOR COOKING NEWBIES: Conventional abbreviations used here (i.e. T = tablespoon, t = teaspoon) (they fit the meter better)

In Which I Sonnetize A Recipe For Homemade Granola for @PaganVixen

Four cups old-fashioned oats; with them combine

A half of toasted wheat germ and of nuts

(Sliced almonds); and some cinnamon, so fine,

Two teaspoons; and one eighth of salt (takes guts

So far, no?). Then boil in a saucepan these:

One-half cup each of honey and orange juice,

Two teaspoons of canola oil. Then please

Stir in one teaspoon of vanilla. Sluice

This liquid o'er the dry stuff and mix well.

Spoon into a lasagna pan and bake

At 350 for twenty minutes. Hell!

Once it is cool add dried cherries and take

Care it's a cup, dried cranberries, add too.

And there you've got granola! Toodle-oo!

Sonnet Recipe: Blueberry-Ginger Freezer Jam

Three cups blueberries first, you have to mash,
Until you've got a lovely purple pulp.
Next get four cups of sugar from your stash
Cook with the berries till it's gone - Oh, gulp!
You're halfway there! Remember, though, to stir
While on the heat; the sugar must dissolve.
The ginger, crystallized, comes next - of her
You need two tablespoons - this will involve
Some chopping fine beforehand. Mix that in
Along with 1T lemon juice and one-
Half teaspoon of ground ginger. The pectin,
The liquid kind, 3 ounces, follows. Fun!
Pour into freezer jars and let it stand
A day, then you can freeze or serve. How grand!

For Melissa, or: My First Short-Order Sonnet

At the request of Melissa, my friend,
Who works with me and keeps me much amused,
I must complete before our day shift's end
A sonnet on a bird that's much abused.
We cut their beaks, we caponize their cocks,
We feed them friends and relatives betimes,
All so they will taste good in soups and stocks
And as filets with tequila and limes.
They're tasty, too, when fried like Daddy does
Or baked with artichokes and some sherry.
No matter what you do, they're great, because
A chicken's far indeed from ordinary.
And I have yet to mention chicken eggs,
Which taste almost as good as chicken legs.