Sonnet Recipe: Roasted Garlic Hummus

Roast up some garlic (to do that, just wrap

Some tinfoil round a bulb off which you've cut

The top; drizzle some olive oil and tap

The powers of your oven - easy, but

It takes an hour at 300F). While

That's going, grab your food processor and,

Dump in a can of chickpeas with a smile,

Add 1/2 T of lemon juice (how grand!)

And 1/2 t oregano. Now take

That yummy roasted garlic; dump it in

And grind and mix it well until you make

A lovely paste (you might need more oil, then,

But be judicious). There: voila! Chow down

With pita, veggies, crackers -- go to town!

NOTE FOR COOKING NEWBIES: Conventional abbreviations used here (i.e. T = tablespoon, t = teaspoon) (they fit the meter better)

In Which Metamorphic Snack Food Is Discovered

Approximately 3:15 p.m.

(That's Central Time) o'er there in Bowling Green

(Kentucky) - is the milieu from which stems

A mystery that's got us in a keen

Debate over a most disturbing claim.

A paranormal candy bar? Some scoff

And say that CGI is what's to blame.

('Twas my first thought, I must admit), but off

The record, yes, there's something much awry

With that conclusion. This is snack food schist!

Its foliation stuns the keenest eye.

How geologic wonders in our midst

Can manifest in snacks, we've not been told.

Perhaps time travel? Or it's just real old?

In Which Snack Foods Are Weaponized

The first news which did penetrate my brain
Through its thick haze of sleeplessness (the pug,
My houseguest, ne'er did think to deign
To let me catch some Zs) hit like a drug.
In Tennessee, a couple's fight took place
In which the so-called weapon of their choice
Was Cheetos. Once we learned of this disgrace
The race was on among us all to voice
Opinions on how Cheetos could be used
To do real harm. In powder form, perhaps
And blown into the eyes? Mashed up and fused
Into a bludgeon? Up the nose? No maps
Exist for such a territory -- well, I hope.
But now we're poised upon a slipp'ry slope.