In Which A Cave Creature Finds Us Tasty

O Nature, e'er experimenting! Now
We find a swimming cricket in the dark
Of Venezuelan caves? So tell me, how
You think you're going to top this. I'll just park
Myself and wait; this poser's sure to beat
Your ingenuity a while -- what? You
Aren't done with just this creature? It eats meat?
Carnivorous cave crickets. OK. Phew!
You had me worried for a moment -- Oh!
It's human flesh it seems to crave? Well, there,
I hadn't been expecting that, although
I shouldn't be surprised; I'm well aware
That as we take up all the living space
We'll soon be food for each remaining race.

In Which @BrettGlass Helps Me Find Another Way To Enjoy Cheyenne

Reunions over kimchee -- well that's new!

And though he lives just over these here hills,

I had lost track of an old friend, one who

I oughtn't to have done. To brave the chills

Of our first winter storm (a mild one) and

Dine with my old pal, Brett, in a place I

Had not known e'en existed in Cheyenne

Is quite a way to close my weekend (Why

I didn't know there was Korean here

Is to my shame, and it's fantastic food!)!

Korean House, on Snyder, you I cheer,

And in my future social plans include.

Bulgogi and geekgasms -- that's the way

To close out this, a dandy fine Thunday.

In Which It's Chicken Licken Gross

If Great-Great-Grandma would not call it food,
Then really it is not, quoth Pollan, and
I find this valid, though it's sometimes rude
To point it out. Today though, through the land
(Of Internet if not America)
Comes forth this tidbit: Chicken's only meat
If it all comes from one bird, which, no duh
But somehow many think it's fine and sweet
When it's extruded like soft serve, all smooth
And pink, and shaped at will, containing bits
We'd never eat, from many birds. I'll soothe
You not at all; this stuff just gives me fits.
It's why I don't go dining with a bird
Or other critter, sans the farmer's word.

In Which My Harvest Incurs Merriment

A bifurcation 'twixt us has been found:

As we traversed the traffic islands, I

Did something that elicited a sound

From Paul I'd call a gasp of shock, caused by

My plucking from a tree some traffic fruit --

A mere crabapple, which I ate. I smiled --

I love them so, and it was fresh, to boot!

'Twas yesterday that happened. Now, beguiled

By this so-shocking tale, my Pete and Paul

Amuse themselves exchanging recipes

(Or concepts therefor); and that book we'd call

A Traffic Fruit Compendium. With ease

Comes traffic jam and traffic fruit tarts, and

We'd better stop; it's getting out of hand.

Tweet

In Which Ground Is To Be Broken

My worst friend has the best plan for my yard:
A rented rototiller soon will tear
Into its soil; I hope it won't be hard
To do, but if it is, of course I'll share
A lot of beer to thank him for the toil.
'Tis not the whole expanse he'll overturn,
Just a small garden plot. We've lovely soil
Here in Cheyenne, though of course there's concern:
The growing season's short, but still I hope
To grow some beets and turnips, carrots, some
Nice fennel, parsnips, rutabega. Nope,
Not going for the fancy stuff. That's dumb
Here on the high plains, unless one has built
A full greenhouse. That's "someday" to the hilt!

In Which I Sonnetize A Recipe For Homemade Granola for @PaganVixen

Four cups old-fashioned oats; with them combine

A half of toasted wheat germ and of nuts

(Sliced almonds); and some cinnamon, so fine,

Two teaspoons; and one eighth of salt (takes guts

So far, no?). Then boil in a saucepan these:

One-half cup each of honey and orange juice,

Two teaspoons of canola oil. Then please

Stir in one teaspoon of vanilla. Sluice

This liquid o'er the dry stuff and mix well.

Spoon into a lasagna pan and bake

At 350 for twenty minutes. Hell!

Once it is cool add dried cherries and take

Care it's a cup, dried cranberries, add too.

And there you've got granola! Toodle-oo!

In Which I Have Mixed Feelings Over Vat-Veganism

Last night I made elk chili for our meal,

Tonight homemade tomato sauce I plan,

Homemade tomato paste, too. Yes, I feel

Quite proud to make my own. I do think Man

Does best when he's an omnivore but I

Don't do the supermarket meat thing, no.

The chemicals and cruelty just don't fly

With me. Per William Gibson today, though,

I ponder now a future in which meat

Comes not from animals, milk not from cows,

Eggs not from birds; all vat-grown. Could be sweet,

Or could be even more disgusting. How's

It strike you? We already eat such stuff

As great-grandma would not call food, sure 'nuff.

Chicken Soup with Orzo is Not Local Food

I'm using chicken fresh from Colorado,
And made the broth myself in which it cooks.
But otherwise this soup, as you may know,
Is vastly more exotic than it looks.
This carrot's native soil I cannot guess;
The orzo's an Italian import, and,
The tumeric and ginger, I confess,
Grew far from any local piece of land.
There's lemon juice and scallions in here, too --
Vital, both, to this dish's special taste.
Cheyenne grows neither; our foodstuffs are few.
Southeast Wyoming's land is near a waste.
Good thing I have the resources I've got
To bring the world together in my pot.