MELZERBEANS!!!!

Now ring the bells and blow the trumpets! Let
Confetti fly and faces ache from smiles!
We weren't there to see it all, and yet
We feel the joy e'en 'crossed a thousand miles.
J.J. has added yet another "J,"
And Jenny now has more at home than beans.
Squeenager has another dad; I'd say
A spare of those is good to have: it means
There's more love for to go around. A toast:
The Melzerbeans! I wish you lots of fun,
Success and scribbling, and, what I wish most:
Your marriage be a long and happy one.
i love you all and, yes, there are some tears
As I tap in this sonnet. Darlings, cheers!

In Which @JennyBeanses Makes Me Feel Funny

Sonneteer's note: I found this half-completed in my browser window and am still trying to puzzle out this situation with @Jennybeanses via Twitter. I still think there's something she's not telling me.

My cousin Jenny swears we're not from here,

And likes to give me cocoa that tastes strange

And watch me drink it all -- and it is clear

She will not let me be until it's drained.

I'll humor her, because I want to know

More of this story that she's spinning, as

Would anyone! Ooh, aliens on the go

And exiled, fam'ly feuds -- this yarn, it has

'Most ev'rything I like! Um, Jenny, I

Feel funny now, and dizzy, and my toes

Are itchy. With a kick, my slippers fly

And I see that I've extra digits. Those

Are webbed as well. And why are my feet blue?

Dear Jenny, you have got 'splanin' to do!

In Which I Hope This Helps @Melzer and @Jennybeanses

Two friends of mine are really in a fix.
American, Canadian, in love
And hoping soon to marry, but the licks
We all have taken now have taken of
Their hopeful plans a dreadful and harsh bite:
They're writers, both, and working really hard,
But hard work's not enough for such a plight
As theirs is; their employer's slight regard
Was not enough to keep them on, and so
E'en as they try to save that he may come
And legally live with her (which we know
Costs lots of money) -- this is dumb
They're back to where they started. If you can,
Chip in and help our Jenny get her man.

(Sonneteer's note: I'm a huge fan of this pair -- Jennifer "Jennybeanses" Hudock and James Melzer. They're both podcast novelists who have given away their major works for free via Podiobooks.com. James' first book, ESCAPE: A Zombie Chronicles novel, comes out in print next March from Permuted Press/Pocket Books but that's a long way off. My point is, they're busting tail to entertain and make a living and be together, and if anyone deserves a little support, it's these two. Thanks!)

In Which I Subtly Pimp An Anthology

The mirror which confronts us ev'ry morn,

So often holds such secrets, we believe,

As only we have known since we were born,

Has watched us smile and wonder, even grieve.

What would it say to us if it could speak?

What secrets does it hide beyond its edge?

And knowing us as it does, just how weak

And sometimes strong we are, what could it dredge

From memory to show the world if such

Were possible? What horrors, if exposed

This way, could ruin us? Reach out and touch

Its surface. What? There is none? You supposed

A thing with that much power would just let

You do that? Now, see what else you will get.

In Which @JennyBeanses Gets To Be Queenses For A Day

O Jennifer, my oh-too-distant pal,

Today's your day to reign, be pampered, and

Saluted for your awesomeness. My gal,

I'm always stunned to see what you have planned --

While knowing well your plans are e'er seen through.

The Goblin Market podcast may be done

(And done quite well), but there's still more that you

Shall share with us, and I say I, for one

Can't wait to dig it. Happy birthday, lass!

You've been a wond'rous friend, one whom I heart.

Here's hoping that your day will soon surpass

Your dearest wishes for it. I'll impart

One last expression 'ere I say hello

To my day gig, and that's GO, EAGLE, GO!

Sonnet Dare: In Which I Summarize Some Follow Fridays

Cruel Nikki dares me rattle off by name
Those Twitter folk I've called as stalkable.
Al Bruno, Oliveri, Cullen - blame
Her that you're abused here. The lovable
Dear BardoRobot, BlazingBetta and
Ms. Jennybeans and Melzer, Ron McD
And Christian Wiehs, Stephan Spiegel, oh man!
O Jason Copland, Tee Monster... let's see...
My Bonfire rescued me from a migraine
(Or at least staved it off). My Lisbeth West
And Oliver T. Earle both make it plain
This world's a wonder. I can't choose the best,
From 'mongst my Twitter friends, mostly eschew
This Follow Friday thing. How about you?

In Which An Engagement Is Announced That Shows All Is Right With The World - Or That The Zombie Apocalypse Is Imminent - Or Both

My friend, James Melzer, cried out "Hey there, BEAAAAANNNNS,

How 'bout we climb up in that Zombie Tree

And fight off walking death from there. I means

For good. And between battles, why don't we

Make sweet love by the fire?" "Oh, well, of COURSE!"

Quoth our Jennifer Hudock. Hold the phone --

Did Melzer just sprout antlers by main force

Of Beanses' strange imagination? Own

It James, you are her hero and I'll say

The antlers suit you well, and as does that hue

Of green she's got you wearing. Shout "hooray"

My readers, at the wondrous schemes these two

Concoct both for themselves and all of us.

I'll say this news is worth making a fuss!

In Which I Put On My Teeth-Kicking Boots

O Jennifer, I'm glad that you're in love
And glad for Melzer, too, but knock it off.
A promise made and kept I am proud of:
If you slack off I kick your teeth and scoff.
It's great to start short stories but more so
To finish them. Now quit blaming your job,
Your dog, your grim apartment and your woe
That Dragons Con without you this year. Sob
When you have finished what you have begun.
And know that I am taking my advice
As well. As acolytes unto the Cult of Done
We must advance. Just think about how nice
'Twill be to have accomplished what we meant.
Such ample dividends on what we've spent!

BONUS SONNET: In Which I Offer To Be A Writing Buddy

O JennyBeanses, your wish is my command:
I'll kick you hard whene'er you miss your goal.
Your word count I shall watch, and I'll demand
An update ev'ry day or else extol
Your failure here in public, sonnet form.
It is the very least that I can do
To thank you for the Goblin Market. Storm
The castle, swim the moat, just burst on through
Each day if you don't want to feel my wrath,
Which burns as hot as human fat inside
Your leg-o-lamp. With such set as your path,
Such shall be your success. I am your guide
To boasting rights, completion, to the end
Of your weird quest. I have that time to spend.