BONUS SONNET: In Which I Offer To Be A Writing Buddy

O JennyBeanses, your wish is my command:
I'll kick you hard whene'er you miss your goal.
Your word count I shall watch, and I'll demand
An update ev'ry day or else extol
Your failure here in public, sonnet form.
It is the very least that I can do
To thank you for the Goblin Market. Storm
The castle, swim the moat, just burst on through
Each day if you don't want to feel my wrath,
Which burns as hot as human fat inside
Your leg-o-lamp. With such set as your path,
Such shall be your success. I am your guide
To boasting rights, completion, to the end
Of your weird quest. I have that time to spend.