BONUS SONNET: Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mister Christopher Platypus Fancier

I entertained a fantasy quite wild

Back in the wild and hoary days of youth

That, 'pon my birth, the doctors said "This child

Will never be too smart." (I tell the truth!)

And that my parents were too proud to say

"OK, you're right" and raise me as a fool,

Instead betook to tell me ev'ry day

I was the brightest ever at my school.

That, furthermore, because I was that dumb

I swallowed whole their story and behaved

As though I were a prodigy. Now some

Still think I'm smart, but lo how I have saved

You now from this illusion and this fuss,

You Purple Hairy Spotted Platypus!