Back in the wild and hoary days of youth
That, 'pon my birth, the doctors said "This child
Will never be too smart." (I tell the truth!)
And that my parents were too proud to say
"OK, you're right" and raise me as a fool,
Instead betook to tell me ev'ry day
I was the brightest ever at my school.
That, furthermore, because I was that dumb
I swallowed whole their story and behaved
As though I were a prodigy. Now some
Still think I'm smart, but lo how I have saved
You now from this illusion and this fuss,
You Purple Hairy Spotted Platypus!