Sonneteer's note: this is a continuation of last week's Friday Flash. To read Part 1: The Bartender and the Babe, go HERE
"Now dress yourself," his erstwhile bedmate bade,
Her cooing tones perhaps not quite so sweet
As those had lured him to this pass and made
An abductee of him. Was it deceit
That brought him here? Or was it just plain lust?
He eyed her cybernetic limbs, could not
Decide. A lover capable of rust
Is not what he'd have looked for, though, he thought,
She's pretty in a post-industrial way.
She beckoned then, contralto, "Come with me."
As he complied he found to his dismay
That while he'd really love to go and see
What she would show him, he would have to learn
To move when gravity's not a concern!
Friday, August 14, 2009
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I am in awe. There is no way I could write like this. It's got such an old world twist to this futuristic tale... I absolutely love it.
ReplyDelete~2
That is exactly what I'm going for, Tomara! You've made my day!
ReplyDeleteTomara said it all. I have joined her in awe, and it's a wonderful place to be. I feel so sorry for Pepito, but can't help thinking he's going to have a great adventure :-)
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you're doing the #fridayflash! I'm wondering how he's going to fare in this. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat amazes me is how you manage to make sci-fi meld so seamlessly with the sonnet form. It reads so smooth without sounding shoehorned or forced. Really masterful work.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line is, "She's pretty in a post-industrial way." I really love the sense of whimsy in that. :)
ReplyDelete~jon
"A lover capable of rust Is not what he'd have looked for, though, he thought, She's pretty in a post-industrial way."
ReplyDeleteI have to second Jon's remarks. That line was wonderful. Thanks for sharing this continuation.
Another fan of the 'She's pretty in a post-industrial way' line here too.As others have pointed out, the charm of this piece is in its melding of old and new. great to have something so different in style on #fridayflash.
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