In Which I Am Awestricken By A New Fashion Accessory

Were I a guy who had to wear a tie

Would I choose one of these under my suit?

While certainly these beauties catch the eye,

Displaying all the best hues of a fruit

We call the Apple iPod nano, is this not

Solution for a problem of which we --

Be honest -- didn't know that we had got?

Accessories like this fill me with glee.
My old-school iPod shuffle just clips to

A collar or a hemline: there I go!

With this "Commuter Tie" one won't see, true,

The actual device, but still there'll show

The telltale earbud cords. Plus, changing songs

Looks to be pretty awkward. Fashion wrongs?

In Which I Am Delighted By A Faux History

A quite unseemly love of fakery,
Of hoaxers and imposters of all sorts
Is mine. I am less fond of drapery,
But still, I like it better than, say, sports,
As topics for close study and talk go.
So when Forgotten Fashion caught my eye
I knew I had to have it. It's a "faux"
Account of fashion trends that had to die.
Outrageous, playful, strange and funny, each
Sly entry, so convincingly is phrased
That I'm sure that some, quite fooled, soon will preach
From it about that industry, so crazed
It is for all that's new and different.
Kate Hahn, your book is wonderfully bent!

In Which I Endure A Little Culture Shock

My dad needed a Stetson cover for

His cowboy hat in case tomorrow's game

Is rainy. So we went down to a store

That I should have known, just from its mere name

Would shock me. At the Boot Barn I went blind

From flashing glare off th'encrusted bling

Of Christian cowgirl belts, hung up, aligned

For maximum impact. So here's the thing:

Who wears such things, and for what kind of date

Are crosses made of rhinestones round one's waist

Sartorially most appropriate?

I know full well the question is of taste,

But wonder, too, what strange new form of prayer

Takes such a form, and really, why I care.