In Which I Contribute Some Additional Apohenia To The Google Crop Circle Mystery Meme

The Google page has a new doodle now:
Crop circles spell out the site's name. Meanwhile
A Twitter note gave numbers to allow
Coordinated users to beguile
Themselves by checking out ground zero of
War of the Worlds, by one H.G. Wells, who,
Has a birthday upcoming. How we love
Such puzzles. Now we all have moved on to
Why Google would choose to commemorate
(A week ahead of time, I'd like to add)
That day one hundred forty-three years late?
Perhaps a clue from Shakespeare might be had?
In Sonnet 143 he tries to wring
Attention back from chicken-chasing... BING?

In Which A Tasty New Recipe Is Born... Well, Maybe Not

My sister hath rare culinary skill:

When I found frozen tater tots a-athaw

Upon the counter, she did not grow ill,

Suggested an idea, which I, with awe,

Share here: her notion of just what I ought

To do with them. And it's not wholly bad.

Dear sister Kris, she knows that I've been caught

With no bananas, and that I have had

A green tea smoothie daily for a year

(Green tea, banana, honey, frozen fruit

All blended well). She blurted out with cheer

That tater tots might be a substitute

For those bananas. Truly, she is wise.

She's single too, and easy on the eyes!

In Which I May Lose My Mind But Gain A Nickname

Just now occurred one of the stranger things
That Twitter's brought my way in recent days.
The current meme is of the kind that brings
The punsters out in quite ferocious ways.
It's #notsosuperheroes that they name,
John Gregson thought of the Pun Issuer.
And, Milton Mermikides in the game,
Of course I thought that name must sure refer
To him. Then John said if that be the case,
Then Irony Man is his nom de guerre.
Agreeing, I then fell flat on my face
With one for me, but Milt with savoir faire
Dubbed me anew, and how? You'll never guess!
Behold the Iambic Pentamistress!

In Which I Consider The Twilight Of The Tweets, But Not With Great Seriousness

It's no surprise that I'm an opera fan,
Not since Tee Morris flushed me out last week,
And we all know I Tweet all that I can,
But even so, this news fair made me freak!
A Twitter opera, its pun-ful name
Of Twitterdammerung, seemed like a joke --
But that is not the punchline. Oh, for shame!
A friend's rhetoric excess made me choke
With laughter and I shared it with my tweeps:
That Sir Andrew Lloyd-Webber had a plan
To make a Twitter musical. This keeps
On circulating now as news. Oh man!
My real regret is that 'twas not my fate,
Though, to compare crowd-source with Nahum Tate!

Sonnet Dare: In Which I Flirt With Trapping Myself In My Own Brain Loop

My expectations, met by District Nine

And yet not met... now just what does that mean?

This query, posed to me today online

Set me upon a path that, sight unseen

Is surely dangerous for me to tread.

Just as the centipede's dilemma does

Pose quite a threat to my poor tender head,

A hoops snake's shape looms also, just because

I try now to recall just what they were,

Those expectations I had, going in

To see the film. 'Tis tricky, memory:

I think back on my hopes with much chagrin,

Is what I think I hoped changed now, for me,

By what the actual exper'ience brought?

My circuits overload; my brain grows hot.

BONUS BONUS SONNET: In Which I Drop A Subtle Hint

O Ian, dear, I wrote 'bout Sharks in Space
Just for your page; now for you I've a task:
What I want most in life's to see your face
Beneath a foil propeller beanie. Ask
Not why it's so; I no longer recall
Just how this project really got its start
(Though I know that it's my fault, after all).
My wish is true; it comes straight from my heart.
And such a little thing I do request:
Here even are instructions for just how
To build the hat. You can make up the rest!
As long as there's a spinner 'bove your brow
When it's all done. You think sonnets are free?
Now off to work. You've got 'til half-past three.

SONNET DARE: The Tauntaun And The Toucan

A common ancestry just might unite
These two uncommon creatures I've been dared
To put in this, my sonnet for the night:
Ramphastidae and tauntaun. Are you scared?
But toucans (as Ramphastidae are called)
Are birds and thus the dinosaurs' grandkids
(Removed some generations), while the bald,
Unlovely tauntans, living on the skids
Of Hoth, ice planet, reptomammals are.
The latter are made-up for Star Wars Two
(Or Five if you buy into that bizarre
Asynchronicity); the former flew
First through my childish thoughts as cereal pimps
And only in the zoos are mine to glimpse.

In Which Is Discovered A Brand New Species

It took podcasting weekly to allow

Me to discover this, a wholly new

And quite unwelcome species. Just for now

Dellrange dumbasicus will have to do

Until Linneans rule on this, my name

For this most noxious creature I so loathe.

Cockroaches, slugs, ants, mice, all have ill-fame

Most undeserved; they've vital roles. I'll clothe

In shame this creature in their stead, one which

Hath no redeeming virtues. All is noise

And fumes where'er it travels. Yes I bitch

In vain against the thund'ring, speeding cars

That ruin my recording tries for hours.