Sonnet Dare: In Which Paul Is Locked In Combat Motal

The gauntlet falls, a ringing, mighty thud
(Though really it's just Laroquod when he
Pulls out an indispensable wee dud,
His iPhone, and doth quest for some 3G).
"Lieutenant Gorman, do something!" he cries
(He's dubbed it thus for reasons I'll make clear;
The reference is Alien). How his eyes
Do narrow as his brow knits, and the fear
Doth grip me as he starts his kluge. He must
Because some crucial apps choked in a sync.
His firmware needed upgraded. The bust
Is that the new OS doth truly stink
On older iPhones. Lo, he entertains
Whene'er he tries to use his extra brains.

R.I.P. Kate's Kindle

Not unlike other tech doodads of yore,
My Kindle's fate is now quite D.O.A.
The gadget endured just a little more
Than covered by its warranty. I'll say:
I've used it hard and long and well, but think
That if or when it gets replaced I'll go
With something less restrictive, more in sync
With what I want from books and, as you know,
With what I most believe: that culture's meant
For sharing. Paperbacks and DVDs
Can easily be lent, donated, sent
To others. While I do like sparing trees,
Renewing them's not hard. Meanwhile I've got
My iPod with the Kindle app, eh wot?

In Which I Comment Discreetly On Something That Amuses Me

A certain new device is causing queues
Around the block in certain cities, e'en
Though it has certain problems -- that won't lose
It fanboys, though they know of these, I ween.
The lure of gadget-lust is strong, as they
Already know, for most of them succumbed
To iterations earlier. I say:
It does seem odd that more than two-thirds, numbed,
Perhaps to their old versions' fading charms
(I doubt a million of them just broke down
All at the same time) ran into the arms
Of their sharp produce-dealers in each town.
What now becomes of those forsaken toys
Abandoned for antenna-addled joys?

In Which I Share The Fruits Of An Afternoon's Nosy Questioning

It wasn't scientific; I just asked

Some friends online who had gone out and bought

The iPad Saturday just how, when tasked

To cough up the five hundred bucks -- a lot

For any gadget -- they paid up. I learned

That while ol' Mister Plastic took a kick

Right to the nuts, most of my friends have spurned

To pay out months of interest. The trick

Was saving up so they could buy, then pay

The company and earn reward points, too.

Still others used store plans. No one would say

They'd carry any balance. 'Tis a clue,

Perhaps, that these hard times have taught them well

To manage their resources. Time will tell.

In Which I Say Meh To A Fruity New Gadget

An iPad is not something that I need;

I have a Kindle and an iPod touch.

Between them I've more books than I can read,

And that's not counting paper ones, as such.

Within the App store I've found much that's fun

But don't see where they need a bigger screen

That weighs near two pounds and won't fit in one

Of my ass pockets (really, that's my scene:

The Kindle makes my shoulder bag so light

Compared to five or six big paperbacks,

And now the iPod Touch does too, fits right

And takes up even less space!). But relax

I will not be a hater and reserve

The right to change my mind, indeed to swerve.