In Which I Don't Want To Miss The @TuacaCon Boat (But I Might)

Debauchery, thy name might truly be
Tuaca, beverage of failed pimps
And DragonCan'ts. Oh, how I long to see
What orange-flavored hijinks all these imps
I call my friends might now engage in. Ware,
P.G., and Phil, and Brand, and Kim, and, yes
Miss Christiana, Val and Laura, there
And Starla, Patrick, Dave, Paulette (I guess
They had to let in Paul or else he'd sic
His bunny slippers on them), also Chooch
And Viv! TuacaCon is no mean trick
To pull off. Throw in Sigler and (O, smooch!)
As virtual events go, count me in
As soon as I get off work, for the win!

BONUS SONNET: Con-Fabulation

O would that we could have been having drinks
With Sasha Pixlee when he saw, last night
A sight that few could handle well, methinks,
Without our faces going bloodless, white
With shock. O DragonCon, O fandom, you
Bring out the beast in many. Last week I
Saw one Gene Simmons Batman plunge into
A crowd as he fell down the stairs (to fly
Was quite beyond him); this week Grover stalked
A bar in ol' Hotlanta -- in his hand
A bright red dildo. Wonder if he talked
That incoherent, growly way, too, and
If Sasha talked right back while hauling off
Four litres of fine absinthe for to quaff.
Tweet

Fan Expo: In Which We Are Not Amused

Oh noes! This Expo has attracted fans

In numbers greater than the hall can hold!

A mob outside the doors -- paid up -- now chants

"Let us in!" while inside -- it's getting old --

Another mob is gathered in the hopes

Of escalator rides up to the floor

With wonders that they came to see (poor dopes!)

And maybe buy, must wait around still more.

The hall is full, quoth fire marshalls, thus

No one may now ascend until some make

The downward journey. Till then, pooh to us

Who paid our money. How much must we take

Ere we revolt? At least the panels should,

And really now had better, be quite good.

Tweet

In Which Blagojevich Makes His Next Move

Fitzgerald had it wrong, for second acts
Are quite endemic these days, witness how
Our fav'rite Prostnic Vogon -- these are facts --
Acquitted (mostly), has announced that now
He's going to be at Wizard World to sign
Some autographs and read some poetry
To any whom his minions capture. Fine
And dandy, but a bit odd, seems to me!
O Blago, you're the cruelest captain yet!
I'm sure that Paula Nancy's wet her pants,
And clutches tightly to her crown (I'll bet
The Azgoths know they haven't got a chance).
Oh, freddled gruntbuggy, I hope you'll show
Some mercy to those who still choose to go.
Tweet