In Which Blagojevich Makes His Next Move

Fitzgerald had it wrong, for second acts
Are quite endemic these days, witness how
Our fav'rite Prostnic Vogon -- these are facts --
Acquitted (mostly), has announced that now
He's going to be at Wizard World to sign
Some autographs and read some poetry
To any whom his minions capture. Fine
And dandy, but a bit odd, seems to me!
O Blago, you're the cruelest captain yet!
I'm sure that Paula Nancy's wet her pants,
And clutches tightly to her crown (I'll bet
The Azgoths know they haven't got a chance).
Oh, freddled gruntbuggy, I hope you'll show
Some mercy to those who still choose to go.
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In Which A Wiretap Reveals That Roland Burris Was A Vogon All Along!

Today, through wire taps we have unmasked

A fake Dentrassi, who was caught on tape

Maneuvering to save his own sweet -- asked

Repeatedly before, he did escape

The question of his giving quid pro quo

With clever talk -- but now we all may hear

Him whining to the brother of Blago:

His business threatens failure, he has fear

Of going under. Vogon to Vogon,

Does Roland Burris promise to provide

Support for Blago's campaign to stay on

As Prostnic. Before they both denied
That this was how Roland got to D.C.

But this sure sounds like pay to play to me.

BONUS SONNET: Poor Roland Burris Just Can't Scrape Off The Blagojeblech

Said Golgafrincham Captain Dick Durbin
To his Dentrassi pal and counterpart,
"Dude, do you know the mess that you are in?
You'd just resign and leave if you were smart."
Said Burris to his partner "Umm, no way.
My only sin was offering to help
Supply frood food for Blago's next buffet."
Said Durbin, "Fine, you dumb Dentrassi whelp,
Go hang with Vogon Blago; I don't care."
(Apologies, I will admit, are due
To Douglas Adams, though I firmly swear
I think he'd laugh at what is happ'ning, too).
And so as I take in this news, I'm torn
Between profound dismay and snarky scorn.

In Which I Commemorate A Moment In History Which May Otherwise Pass Unremarked

This week, I think, was surely the first time
That Twitter witnessed such a thing as this:
A trade of barbs about a slab of slime
(A governor we cast to the abyss,
Whom I already called out as Vogon)
Morphed into reminiscing some about
Past Congressmen that Wyoming did spawn:
Not just ol' Unca Dick, last seen without
Much more to do than scowl in his wheelchair,
But a much less familiar name to most
Our own Teno Roncalio, whose flair
And funniness few now know well. A toast
To you, Ken Rudin, and I must say yes
We're first to tweet 'bout Teno, I would guess.

I Will Miss His Soundbites Somewhat Less Than Bush's

Indulge I do at times in schadenfreude,
A vice, I know, but sometimes I can't help
But celebrate when someone so devoid
Of virtues gets the chop. I gave a yelp
Of glee when he today was so impeached
That he can't serve the state of Illinois
As even a dogcatcher. He has leached
From history a portion of the joy
We rightly felt to see Obama's win.
Then he compared himself to MLK
And Ghandi when exposed as not human
But Vogon-born, and proved it just today
By tormenting his state house and senate
And living glupules frart and slipulate.