In Which is Had a Late Night Fright, but By Whom?

Unable once again to sleep, I sought
Relief in waters hot, of sulfur'rous smell.
Outside my door was waiting what, I thought,
Some kind of prank contraption. "What the hell?"
A radio antenna? Sculpture fail?
In silence, into darkness I stepped t'ward
The mystery. And then it moved! My flail
Of startlement near hit it. Almost gored
Upon a mighty antler, I withdrew,
Then, panting, frightened by a five-point buck
(That's on each antler; it's the West here). "Shoo!"
I said to him. I don't know why. As luck
Would have it, deer spaghetti was my lunch.
Was this revenge? I'd entertain that hunch.

BONUS SONNET: On Surprises, Pleasant And Strange

Sometimes, leaving the house, I wind up late,
For at that final moment, it turns out
My keys are in my pocket because Fate,
That fickle-fingered bitch goddess -- don't shout
Such things, Kate -- has decreed that I forget
Just where I laid them down, or that I've got
Them in my hand already. Stranger yet:
It's so with people, too, it seems. I'd not
Believe there's anyone around who'd share
My joy in some outlandish thing, my rapt
Attention on a small surprise. Then there
Upon one of my shoulders comes a tap,
And lo, right next to me, a beaming smile
Lets me know I've had comp'ny all the while.