There Is No Broadband "Bridge" To ANYWHERE, No Matter What Michael Katz Says

The internet is suff'ring from a plague
Of metaphors that, all of them, are crap.
A "bridge" or "pipeline" doesn't sound that vague
But words like these bait us into the trap
Of policies and practices, all based
On faulty rhetoric. It's bad enough
That rural folk tradition'ly have faced
A lack of access to the kind of stuff
That upscale urbanites take as their due,
And friends of mine must travel 80 miles
Round trip to see a film or buy shampoo.
It will incur some extra cost and trials,
But in the end society will find
That what is being joined is mankind's mind.

There's A Reason I Was A PRINT Journalist

I'm often told my voice makes me ideal
To sit behind a mike at NPR.
I will admit the notion has appeal,
But listening to me would be bizarre.
I am a giggler, a bit juvenile;
I am a gloater, and can never hide
My glee at things that bring on a sick smile.
Too often would these tendencies collide
With my responsibility to air
The news - as I can write up very well.
On paper no one sees it when I swear
Or laugh out loud at what I have to tell.
Just take, for instance, the word "stimulus":
I'd waste a lot of tape; I'd laugh, then cuss.