If You Can Read This, Thank A Bureaucrat

The cops and firemen are heroes, yes,
The paramedics, and the power crews,
The folks who man the pumps -- we cannot guess
How many we will need of those. The news
Is full of people working to bring back
The world we knew. But let us not forget
The heroes stuck behind the desks. You crack
Your jokes about them, but without them, bet
Those cops would have their cars? The ambulance
Would have its bandages and stretchers? Would
The pumpers have the maps? I have a chance
Right here to thank the people who do good
Behind the scenes, who budget, plan, all that
Can only happen with a bureaucrat.

TSA: An Immodest Proposal

They hate our way of life, so they attack
Is what we're told, but seems to me the threat
Is more from our own overlords. Roll back
To feudal days; we shall be chattel yet!
A naked body scan or grope-down, just
Because one used his underpants last year
To fail to bomb a flight? There really must
Be nowhere that they'll stop to keep the fear
Alive and keep us feeling as bovine
As possible. Soon we'll fly in the nude
And have no baggage. We'll be told it's fine,
That clothiers in airports, wise and shrewd
Can sell us TSA-approved duds at
Our destinations, and that will be that!

In Which A Conspiracy Is Unmasked

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab has
Done all of us a service; he's revealed
A further element of razzmatazz
That heretofore was cunningly concealed:
The TSA has always been in league
With those nefarious Underpants Gnomes.
The one to make us lie, cheat and intrigue
To wear, the others to steal from our homes
Our undergarments. First the little guys
Swipe what we have, then screeners take away
What we dare wear to airports. Then, surprise,
Once pantless at our destination, hey,
A posh airport boutique is there to sell
What we must simply hope was laundered well.

BONUS SONNET: In Which I Chime In My Support For Keeping The Fremont Peak Observatory Open

If education is a public good,

As we so like to claim, then how can we

Allow this kind of thing to happen? Would

The savings made outweigh the loss we'd see?

The Fremont Peak Observatory has

A mission to allow the public's eye

To look out far beyond our planet, as

We should if we are to survive. That sky

Above us e'er should lure us to surpass

Our paltry buildings, cities, monuments

And think about our destiny. The glass

There opens minds. Yet I fear common sense

Says budget cuts will take it. So I dare

All those who love it to cough up a share.