In Which I Rant A Little About A Stupid News Story

"Dude, listen to this; it will get you high!"
"What? I can't hear you; my drugs are too loud!"
"These beats make me like Lucy in the sky!"
Oh, crap like this just really makes me proud
That I was ever in the fourth estate,
With off'rings such as this still getting seen
And taken with such seriousness. It's great
To see how science education's been
Successful. Guys, e'en if it's proven true
That these binaural beats can change the waves
Of someone's brain, that's nothing. Pull on through
The water with a paddle: it behaves
Perhaps as though a boat traversed it, but
You didn't make a boat appear, you nut.