This pork roast sitting on my countertop --
T'was frozen, partly thawed when Sears did screw
Me over last week, frozen again -- stop
Me if you've heard this one -- and yet somehow
Today, when time to cook it up has come
And it's been thawing all day, up to now,
It's still a solid rock of pork! It's dumb!
But microwaves, for these occasions, are
Appropriate, though, when one's slightly drunk,
A challenge to set properly. The bar
Is not set too, too high; I won't flunk
My cooking course tonight -- though I will say
I'm glad the turkey's fresh for Turkey Day!